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  One wore a well-fitting suit that was more fashionable than dressy and the man next to him wore an outfit much like one Jase’d decided against—button down plaid shirt, tight Levi’s, and a fancy black Stetson. Jase took the empty seat Dustin pulled out for him. Everyone at the table looked his way. The music died and the drag queen left the old wooden stage just long enough for Dustin to make introductions.

  “Y’all, this is Deputy Jase Emery. He’s Ase’s friend.” They all looked at each other with one part surprise, and one part knowing smiles. Dustin turned to Jase. “You’ll have to excuse them, this is a first.”

  Jase couldn’t help the look he gave Dustin, who guffawed and shook his head. “Oh, no, honey. They know we were strictly DTF and not lovey.” That didn’t exactly make Jase feel better.

  Dustin didn’t seem to notice Jase’s chagrin as he continued with intros. “The girl and the straight boy are Ella Reed and Marshall Howard. They’re friends with the gays here. They work for a magazine in Austin.” Dustin presented the cowboy and his friend with a wave of his hand, a la Vanna White. “And these guys are my bosses at my weekend job. This is Chance Beckett and his husband, Bradley Heart. They own an awesome steakhouse.” Jase recognized Chance’s name.

  “Nice to meet, y’all!” he said, above the music that’d picked back up. Chance nodded with an easy smile; Bradley seeming more reserved as he nodded Jase’s way and put his arm around the back of his husband’s chair. He wondered if it’d be tacky to congratulate them on their marriage being legal. He imagined so, so he kept it to himself, but he was happy for them because they looked awfully in love. It also made him feel instantly more comfortable, and like all signs were pointing him in the direction of breaking the fucking ice with Ase, finally.

  “I’m happy you came! I’m surprised you did, but happy! Ase’ll be thrilled,” Dustin said, having to lean in to talk above the noise on the speakers.

  Jase looked at Dustin funny. He didn’t know why he thought Jase wouldn’t come. Dustin’s eyes narrowed and he watched Jase’s confusion for a second, then sighed loudly. Jase could’ve sworn Dustin said shit, but couldn’t be sure.

  He noticed, though, all eyes at their table lit up and they started wolf-whistling at the stage. Dustin shook his head, rolling his eyes, seemingly mumbling to himself, but applauded as well as a drag queen who pronounced herself the Hostess with the Mostest took the stage in a green sequined dress, with an over-large blonde wig and garish pink lips.

  “Y’all havin’ fun tonight?” The crowd cheered at her question. “Alright, bitches. Y’all love this next one. Our sexy Latina who’s too good to come out more than once a month.” The crowd cheered again, pretty loud, obviously knowing who the emcee was talking about. “It’s okay, though. Y’all know this fish is going places. She dropped off her broomstick here in our trailer park. After we beat her ass and stole her weave, we decided she could stay.”

  Jase didn’t really listen to much more of the intro. He supposed he wasn’t used to the humor because he didn’t know what some of the words were or why they were so funny. But he had this sneaking suspicion he knew what Ase hadn’t told him.

  “Put your hands together for our own California queen, Ms. Ariel Del Rio!” The crowd grew louder, Jase’s table mates cheering loudest—aside from Dustin, who seemed to be staring at Jase—as a song from a woman singing about her wild heart getting her in trouble came on the speaks. Jase didn’t hear too much of it as he watched, trying to really grasp what he was seeing.

  Oh, no doubt that was Ase on that stage. Unlike the previous drag queens, or most he’d seen, Ase wasn’t in a pageant dress or covered in pads. He was wearing a sexy red and black number that was revealing. The material covered where a woman might have breasts, then wrapped around, leaving his taut brown belly exposed down to his crotch, becoming a long dress.

  Jase was… Surprised. Ase’s body had been shaved, his face smooth and made up to accentuate his feline features in a very feminine way. What was a lean, strong, male body somehow had the right curves; what with his thick thighs and his perky, round ass being so shapely. Jase had no doubt the heels helped the illusion.

  His sexy Ase’s masculine beauty had transformed into one gorgeous drag queen.

  “Ase does drag?” Jase heard himself ask stupidly.

  Dustin looked put out, but with Ase, not Jase. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell you.” He shook his head, glaring at Ase—er, Ariel. “He started in Munich.”

  “Are you serious? That’s where we met.”

  Dustin’s eyes widened. “And you just found this out?”

  He could hear Ase’s voice, see the look when Ase’d mentioned his having a problem with being called a sissy by his mother. “Sounds like you have a problem with how they perceive you? I hadn’t pegged you for the type.”

  Fuck.

  So he could see why it hadn’t been mentioned, why he wouldn’t seem like the most sympathetic person to a man who liked dressing as a woman. And he had to admit; he’d not have guessed it of Ase because Ase rode a motorcycle and had the tattoos. But Ase was almost painfully pretty to look at with those full lips and his sharp, exotic facial features and onyx eyes with the thick black lashes.

  “I, uh, need a beer,” Jase said. None of Ase’s friends heard him or looked his way, but Dustin had a deep frown pulling down his face. He wished he could tell Dustin he wasn’t about to hurt Ase. But he didn’t have the energy or the brainpower to give platitudes. He needed a minute to process. He was mad at Ase for not warning him or saying anything. But he was also mad at himself for things he may have said over time and his reactions to certain things that led Ase not to trust him with the info.

  That sucked the most, not feeling worthy of Ase’s trust with all the parts of his life. All because he had let himself get wrapped up in being miserable in this damn town. He stood abruptly from the table and made his way out into the bar area, then out into the dark night.

  Chapter 19

  ASE breathed, stood staring at himself in the mirror. He realized he probably looked ridiculous, but he didn’t care. Two drinks in after the three he’d had at the bar, and he didn’t really have much of an edge left.

  He saw, after his final song, Jase that wasn’t in the crowd, and Dustin was sitting, arms crossed and scowling. He’d played the part, entertaining, losing himself in his other persona. He didn’t get to let her out often. Hell, it’d taken long enough to take back that part of his life after shit hit the fan with his parents. He wasn’t going to let Jase’s being a self-hater ruin it.

  Though, after Dustin’s strongly worded “You shouldn’t have surprised him” speech, he would have to admit anyone would have reacted the same way as Jase. Hell, Anthony had known from the start Ase liked to perform as Ariel, and it’d ultimately been their undoing as his macho Latino bullshit couldn’t handle Ase’s “silly hobby.”

  Ase obviously had a fucking type. Assholes who couldn’t deal with their sexuality, whose masculinity was threatened by knowing they’d been topped by a dude who liked to wear skirts and heels every once in a while.

  He glanced back at himself in the mirror and smiled to himself. He’d removed most of his face and dressed in his street clothes to drive home after begging off more time with his friends. But once he’d gotten home and had a drink, he’d needed to feel good for five more minutes.

  The reflected him looked like a hot mess; his hair was slicked back, only make-up left being the too-thick black eyeliner and mascara that he’d have to scrub for ten minutes to remove because no matter what trick you used, this much eye makeup did not just come off. Music played in the background as he sipped his vodka and cranberry, swaying to the beat, running a hand over his bare chest then the smooth fabric of the short black skirt he’d donned about two drinks back.

  “Hot mess is right, babe,” he said to his reflection. Drunk, in a skirt and heels, dancing on his own, trying to be anyone but Ase for a few minutes. Trying to be that free, wild motherfucker he
’d fooled himself into thinking he was just four or five years ago.

  Ase was startled by a knock on his front door. When he noticed the time was close to midnight, he thought it was probably Dustin, because really no one else visited, and Dustin probably had more strong words for him.

  But dancing alone wasn’t having its usual effect; it wasn’t cheering him up, as only those moments had been able to do for years now. Even if he was going to get lectured, he’d open the door because Ase was tired of being alone.

  He swung the door open, realizing in that moment if it wasn’t Dustin, Lucy would have some ‘splainin’ to do. He chuckled to himself. Which is how he appeared when Jase saw him—laughing at nothing, holding a cocktail, dressed in only a skirt and four-inch black heels.

  Jase blinked for a second. Seemed to be the usual response from the man lately. So Ase sighed and walked back into the apartment. Again, better to be around someone who wanted to bitch than to be alone again. And it was Jase’s fault he felt alone anyways. He’d not needed someone in so long. Not until Jase.

  “Really?”

  He turned and looked at Jase who stood in his doorway, hands in his pockets.

  Mierda. He must have said that out loud. He wasn’t even really that drunk, but he was clearly starting to crack.

  “Ase.”

  Ase sighed and turned back to the mirror, setting his glass down on the vanity. “Yeah, Jase?”

  Jase walked up behind Ase, and their eyes met in the mirror. Then Ase’s heart stopped. Jase stepped up to his back, the hard-on trapped in his jeans, easily felt through the thin cotton of Ase’s skirt, and wrapped his arms around Ase’s naked torso. Ase’s whole body shivered.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Jase whispered in Ase’s ear. And fuck, he wanted to fold, fall to his knees, and weep at the conviction in Jase’s voice.

  “You left.”

  “No, I didn’t. I came back but they said it was your last set. Then I lost you when you came out to—what’d Dustin call it?”

  “Work the crowd? C’mon, Jase, that’s not even the gayest thing you heard tonight,” Ase said, trying for levity.

  “Hey,” Jase said, nudging Ase’s cheek with his chin. “I tried.”

  “You did,” Ase said, a little breathlessly.

  “I came right here when that Chance guy said you’d left.” Ase didn’t know Chance terribly well, had only met him once or twice, but right then he was eternally grateful to the guy.

  “You were great tonight.”

  “Really?” Ase was floating somewhere, some of it the buzz of alcohol, some of it thinking he was dreaming, the rest affection for the man wrapped around him, swaying to the music with him in the mirror. If this wasn’t the sappiest moment of Ase’s life, he didn’t know what was, but he couldn’t help thinking, then saying… “This is the first time someone has danced with me.” The real me, seeing me. The way Jase looked at Ase, there was no doubt Jase knew what Ase meant.

  Jase turned Ase in his arms, both their hard-ons pushing together as Jase kissed Ase’s lips. Soft and sweet at first, the kiss turned desperate and dirty after a moment.

  Ase pulled back, looking at the lust-drunk way Jase stared at him. God, this was a bad idea in so many ways. But Jase was here. He was looking at Ase like he was a prize. And it’d been so long since anyone had thought that.

  “Oh, sorry about the lip gloss.”

  Jase’s lips ticked up in a smile. “I like both, remember? I’ve definitely tasted my share of glossed lips.”

  Ase narrowed his gaze. The jealousy at the statement was ridiculous. He’d rubbed that he was fucking Dustin in Jase’s face just months ago. But he didn’t like thinking about the people Jase had been with since him. And he really had no right to go there.

  “I’m sorry if you thought I left. I did need a minute. But it was mostly because I realized what my issues—what my issues made me sound like. I will admit I was surprised. But, I don’t think less of you for dressing like a woman.”

  “How gracious of you,” Ase said, drily.

  “No. I just mean...” Jase shook his head, looking at Ase with eyes full of wonder. “You are so fucking brave. When I first met you, I thought that. With your tattoos and not giving a fuck. I wanted to be more like you. Then when I saw you here, you were out and weren’t afraid to be out publicly.

  “Then I saw you like this and, at first, I was shocked. Then I realized; why wouldn’t you do this? It’s so you, to just be you and fuck the norm.” Ase choked up at those words because that’s how he’d felt the first time he’d put on a dress and gone on stage. Fuck the world, I’m me. I’m free. Not so much the latter any more. But he’d like to think he may have that again one day.

  But he didn’t deserve Jase’s pride. He had made so many mistakes, denied himself. He’d given Jase shit, but he hadn’t been any better for a while there. “Jase….”

  “No, I’m serious. You’re so strong. And aside from that, you’re so fucking sexy.” Jase’s voice was practically a growl when he said the last word. A full-body shudder went through Jase, proving to Ase just how turned on Jase was.

  “You don’t want me to, like, stick a heel up your ass or something, do you?”

  Jase’s eyes bulged comically. “Uh, no. Is that really a thing? Because, I’d rather not.”

  Ase laughed, the first honest laugh he’d laughed in years. But, this wasn’t his only secret. He couldn’t let Jase with his good heart, Jase who could look at Ase and see beauty, get wrapped up in his mess. A good man like Jase deserved love. Good, pure love like the kind he was trying to give to Ase.

  “Jase….”

  “No. Stop it. Get out of your fucking head.” Jase punctuated that thought with a heady kiss to Ase’s lips. “Just let’s be this tonight. Let’s be us. Like we’re in a hotel in Germany, only better because this time we know each other. We’re not perfect. But, can’t we have at least one night?” Ase wanted to mention their night in the truck, how that’d been “just a night.”

  “Wait. Jase,” Ase said, surprised by his ability to stop himself. “I don’t expect you to stick around afterwards, but tomorrow there’re things to be said.”

  Jase chewed his plush bottom lip nervously. Then he gave a nod and leaned his head back up for a kiss. Ase thought briefly he was going to hell for taking this night, but he wanted it too badly. So he dipped his head and started eating at Jase’s mouth like a starving man. Regrets could wait for tomorrow. It may be the last time he ever looks at you like he is tonight. He was lost to this man, anyway.

  ****

  Jase meant it when he’d said he looked for Ase after his set. He’d been most shaken by the other thing he’d meant—he’d been so fucking turned on by Ase in drag he’d not been sure how to react.

  He’d had a few stupid seconds where he’d thought how pervy he’d seem to Ase, wanting to be fucked by a man in girl clothes. But when Ase’d opened the door, looking a bit crazed, wearing a tight skirt on his trim waist, his eyes made up but looking… like Ase in a skirt, he realized the truth. What the fuck did it matter? He was turned on by Ase. No matter what package Ase came in.

  “I’ve never been fucked by a guy in a skirt,” Jase said, huskily.

  Ase chuckled. “Is that your kink? Been watching cross-dressing porn?”

  Ase nipped Jase’s jawline. “For the record, not all the girls like being sex objects, so don’t go asking random queens for blowjobs when they’re in their girl bodies. It might get you a black eye.”

  Jase snarled at the idea of being with anyone else, regardless of how they were dressed, so he shut Ase up with his tongue in Ase’s mouth. Ase rumbled a sexy laugh from deep in his chest.

  He stopped, though, taking in Ase’s words. “Wait. You can change if you want. I didn’t mean to imply…”

  “Jase. Shut up. You’re the one who said to get out of my head. Now, you too.”

  “Gladly,” Jase said, gasping when Ase did that sexy move where he carded his fingers throug
h Jase’s hair and pulled his head back. Jase groaned.

  “You like it when I’m forceful with you, huh?”

  “Fuck yes,” Jase admitted, unabashedly. He liked not being in control, coming apart at the seams and letting Ase put him back together.

  “Grab my cock, Jase,” Ase said, in Jase’s ear. Jase reached down and had only to pull the skirt up an inch or so before his hand wrapped around hot, hard cock. It was a strange sensation, but letting go of the shit he usually worried about, not being afraid to just be with Ase, made him feel fucking giddy. His own cock tensed in his jeans as he stroked Ase.

  “That’s right, stroke me.” Ase pulled Jase’s shirt off and unbuttoned Jase’s jeans. Within short order he’d pulled out Jase’s cock and started stroking. They bucked into each other’s fists, grunting into each other’s mouths as they made out with abandon. Jase liked how undone he made Ase.

  Ase broke the kiss and pushed Jase back onto the bed, yanking at Jase’s boots, then his jeans. Once Jase was completely naked, he watched Ase hike his skirt up enough to fully expose himself, stroking himself. “You want me to fuck you?”

  “A million times since the first time.”

  Ase’s eyes heated, the dilated black irises looking much larger with the way Ase’s make up accentuated his eyes.

  Ase fumbled in a drawer beside the bed before dropping to his knees and taking Jase into his perfect, hot mouth. Jase stared at the way his cock disappeared between those shiny, pouty, full lips. Two things happened, then. Ase’s lubed finger slid into Jase’s hole, and Jase’s cockhead slid into Ase’s throat.

  Jase’s head fell back at the insane overstimulation and he groaned loudly. Ase soon inserted a second finger and kept noisily slurping around Jase’s cock. Jase didn’t remember ever feeling this hard, his whole body quaking like he’d never been touched before.